Episode 10: Runnin' Away

Runnin' away
to get away.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
You're wearing out

your shoes.

Look at you fooling you.

— Sly Stone, 1971

About two months ago I finally got up enough courage to go for a run in Sophia. And just like my new expat life, It's been a strange but delightful experience. Oh, I guess you are wondering why I said got up enough courage? Well stick around and you'll find out...

As most of you already know running is a huge part of my life just like painting, music and breathing. Well, breathing is kinda secondary. I paint a picture, I breath. I listen to music, I breath. I go for a run, I breath. So one can imagine how a 4 month layoff must have felt. Very depressing. So my first day back on the trails was relieving to say the least even if I only went about 4 miles and needed to call an ambulance afterwards. I felt Like I was in my "Fat Elvis Period" of life, as John Lennon humorously described his lay off from the music scene in 1975. But I kept at it, and eventually got back on the right track.

But before I got on that right track, I spent a lot of time wondering and worrying whether not my celebrity status would hinder my ability to run. Like I told you in Week 2, the constant looks become quite annoying when you need a little privacy. And I figured if tons of Bulgarian folks stare at me when I'm simply walking down the street, they'd sell tickets to see me run. I was almost right. They didn't actually sell tickets, but they stared even harder with an occasional smile here and there. I even tried wearing a hat and shades to take a little attention off of me, but folks still stare at me like they're seeing Usain Bolt run for silver. I guess I really can't blame them. A tiny percent run in Sophia, so it's pretty unusual to see a person running to begin with. I've seen about two people on the trails so far and gave them both a big smile and thumbs up. Real high. Nevertheless, I should be used to the looks, because I got a lot of them in the States, too. Not many African Americans run in the Takoma park area. And in the States people tend to make a habit of eyeballing runners to death in general. I do it, too.

On a positive note, I found that the constant stares help build the stamina I need to reach that extra mile or two. Especially stares from the opposite sex. And excuse me if I diverge from the subject for a minute, but this is probably a safe point for me to describe the physical appearance of a typical Bulgarian woman to my fellow "Girl Watchers" out there in Blog-O-Daria Land. Two words. Simply stunning. And dressed to impress 24/7. If you're into that sort of thing. But seriously, these woman are truly some of the most breathtaking woman I've ever seen in my life...with Sarah being the cherry on top of them all of course (clears throat).

Anyway, the constant looks ain't the only reason why I needed to build up some courage to run in Sophia. It's the fear of stray dogs everywhere. My Bulgarian friend Nevena told me that they give them some kind of identify tag that sort of makes them an integral part of the community. And believe it or not, and this is not a joke, on several occasions Nevena and I both witnessed a stray dog or two waiting at an intersection. When the walk light turned green, the dog would actually walk across to the other side and continued on its merry way. When Bunks came to visit he also took note of there citizen-like status. We once had to dodge a stray dog's bustling path on a busy side walk as if he were uttering, "get the hell out of my way you stupid Americans."

The stray dog problem worried me for a while, but then I noticed that most of them are pretty friendly and mind their own business. They're just hungry and trying to survive like most people, right? My friend Joe told me to just bring along some bread to feed them on my run. So learning this, I finally got up the courage to run until I heard about an American female runner who had gotten mauled by a pack of stray dogs in the park one night. Scary stuff. This new news set me back another few weeks. It also scratched my idea of running at night to prevent so many people from staring at me.

I tried to find some pepper spray to protect myself, but never came across any. I even thought about bringing a big stick along. Then I thought of the Bulgarian peoples reaction to the only Black man in Sophia running down the street with a big stick in his hand. Yeah. That wouldn't go over too well. So I was back at square one. Then one faithful morning I got up early, grabbed my iPod, and told Sarah, "what the hell am I waiting for? It's a free world. I'm going for a run!" She just smiled a sigh of relief and said, "You bet."

I even tackled that same park that the poor American girl was mauled in. Yeah, that was stupid. Because as I got up to the deep end of the park, a pack of greedy-looking dogs came out of nowhere and starting chasing me. I'd already mapped out a couple good tall statues in the park where a terrified runner, that's me, could climb up on top of just in case of a dog chase emergency — so I headed straight for the nearest one. Just as I gained up enough speed to get there I turned back to see how close they were and noticed that a man came out and called them off. They must have been his dogs, but I didn't stick around to find out. I just headed straight for the exit as fast as I could.

As I left the park with a huge sigh of relief, I realized that in a way, I am kind of a celebrity in the eyes of the stray dogs in Sophia, too. I guess for them, when they see me running, it must seem strange. When you think about it, they never see people running, so they must be thinking one of the three things:

1. It's playtime!
2. A crazy Black man is running towards me. He makes me feel nervous, so I am going to bite him before he bites me!
3. He's running to a place where there is food, so I'm going to follow him!

I'm betting on 3, but no matter what the choice is, it's extremely scary to see these wild ferocious animals charging for me, so I decided it would be best to just avoid the parks from now on. That way, if any of them start to chase me on the streets, there's a likely chance for someone to call for help.

Another day.

You're farther away.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A longer trip back home.

For a minute, I thought this running on the streets had solved all my problems, then I came to the realization that I'd been face with some new dilemmas. For one, it becomes difficult to find any trees or bushes around to duck into just in case I need to go to the bathroom, or drain an entertainer as I like to call it. Now I know how it must feel to be a female runner. You just have to deal with it and develop a strong bladder. Another dilemma to face is the cars. It's hard enough to avoid the crazy DC drivers when running in the States, but facing a crazy Bulgarian driver is an another ball game. They drive faster than a New Yorker, and the pedestrians don't have the right away. Let me repeat — The pedestrians do NOT have the right away. So don't even think about trying to play chicken with a driver in Sophia. You won't win.

I know I've mentioned a lot of negatives that I've experienced in my two months of running in Sophia. But on a positive note, it's been truly a delightful and memorable experience that I will never forget. It also forced me to learn my way around town and discover new parts of the city on my own. And it's a beautiful city indeed. Although, in recent runs, I've learned that sadly, they have butchered the poor trees to death around most of the city. I guess they are pruning them for diseases? It's kind of a strange way of pruning I think. And sadly, it takes a long time before they grow back. And Sarah and I noticed a couple of after-pruning trees around town and they just look like a spider spent a web around a pruned tree. So basically, the beautiful streets surrounding our condo, looks like the after effects of a war zone, now. Our main street where we live has been untouched fortunately. Not sure why they left ours alone, but Sarah and I are both thankful for this.

Oh before I go, I guess I should let my fellow Hills You Can Feel For Real running team back home know that there are no big hills to tackle in Sophia. I'd have to leave town and head out to the Rila mountains to get a good hill into my workout. You see years ago, two of my older blood brothers, Thad (Brubby) and Carlos, constructed a 10 mile course in the very hilly Takoma Park area that contains 12 steep hills, including one that is almost the size of a mountain that we save for the end of the course. We've lovingly named it Big Bertha. This year, Brub must have gotten board and decided to remix the course by adding on 5 more hills and two extra miles as if we didn't already have enough. Before I left for Europe, honorary member David Hillis came along and ran it a couple of times and accurately christened the new course Hills That Kill. When I was home, me and my brothers kept a strict diet of running this course every two weeks. It kept me on my toes. After running it, you just felt kind of invincible-like — making smaller courses feel like you'd just ran a block or two. And man, It feels like centuries since my last appearance on that crazy course. So here's a message to my fellow Hills That Kill team members — please be gentle with me when I make my come back on Hills. Remember, I'm your little brother.

Be Seeing you.

O