Episode 24: Fire

"

When you're hot,

you're hot

You really shoot your shot

You're dynamite, child

I can tell by your game

You're gonna start a flame.

"

— Leroy Bonner, 1974

Growing up the seventh child of nine, you can bet your best pair of blue jeans I wasn't spoiled. But since I was the only 6 year-old kid on the block who's parents allowed him to see gruesome R-rated horror flicks like The Exorcist and The Pack, you can say I had a few special privileges. In fact, some were so special, that, for being quite a mischievous little kid, I was spanked only once during my entire childhood, and for good reason of accidentally setting my bedroom on fire by carelessly playing with a cigarette lighter. Okay, okay — maybe I was spoiled just a tad bit.

On the other hand, if there was one childhood deprivation I did suffer, it was not being able to see the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, better known as The Greatest Show On Earth, a popular U.S. attraction that I vividly recall just about every kid on the block raving on and on about.

But within a week after getting back from my Germany Journey that I wrote about in the previous episode, I just might have made up for deprived time after witnessing the Circus Balkanski, a popular Balkan based traveling circus that made its debut here in Sofia last month. And even though in my adulthood I never got around to seeing the Ringling show, according to legend, I'm pretty sure Balkanski Circus could never hold a candle to The Greatest Show On Earth in terms of thrills and excitement. But in the nostalgia department — Balkanski just might give 'em some go.

My friend Elana, a U.S. expat and Fulbright scholar living in Sofia, said it best when she bluntly described Balkanski Circus as "a hipster's wet dream." Her reasoning was due to the fact that Balkanski was tremendously old school in just about every way imaginable. Unlike Ringling, which has a modern day feel and contains about 30 rings, Balkanski looked like it was blown straight out of the 1800's.

With just one ring, the rather bizarre Balkanski's performances were simple and not too over the top — but still packed a thrill. It made my very first circus experience quite fun and memorable. Some of my favorite highlights included the acrobats, the great lion tamer, and the show's amazing closing act of 5 motorcycle riders rotating inside a gigantic ball, which, I'm told, recently broke The Guinness World Records. Me, Sarah, Elana and our good friends Joe and Andrew left the ring feeling like giddy little 6 year olds.

Speaking of thrills, the next week after our circus fun I got a call from director Todor Chapkanov (The Way Back, Return To House On Haunted Hill), who I had the pleasure of working with on a previous film called Super Eruption. You might recall me writing about my good times on the set in Episode 14. Well, little did I know, I'd soon be playing around with some lava again after being asked if I were interested in working with him on his latest film project called Miami Magma, a sci-fi thriller about a super volcano directly beneath Miami. Of course, I jumped at the offer — which included me playing the part of a rig worker in the opening scene of the film.

And besides having the honor of working with Todor again, I would also be afforded a second honor after hearing that the star of Miami Magma would be none other than Brad Dourif, who starred in a long list of some of my all time favorite films, including One Flew Over The Cuckcoo's Nest, Jungle Fever, Child's Play, and The Exorcist III — the sequel to one of those gruesome horror films I was privileged to see at age 6.

Other actors in the film included veterans Cleavant Derricks (Sliders, Thea), J.D. Evermore (Walk The Line, The Mechanic), Atanas Srebrev (Thick As Thieves, The Contract), newcomers Vlado Mihailov (Infestation, Wrong Turn 3), Myra Leal (Machete), Melissa Ordway (17 Again, The Last Song), and the former Mrs. Rod Stewart — super-model-turned-actor, Rachel Hunter. Oh, and before you go any further with the next portion of the story, I should alert you to very evil spoilers coming up ahead. . .

Okay then, getting back to special privileges, because I was hand picked by the director, I was thankfully not required to read for the part. And just like our times on Super Eruption, I got on great with Todor. He was pretty chill and patient and knew just what he wanted out of a performance. And my co-stars from the opening scene, Atonas and Vlado, were awesome and easy to work with. And although we endured some pretty hard work shooting some difficult scenes, the three us, especially Atonas — our own personal in-house-comedian, constantly told jokes and pulled pranks, at times even while the camera was rolling — making for a fun and relaxing atmosphere.

As I previously mentioned my escaping that accidental bedroom fire at age 6, unfortunately the rig worker character that I portrayed in Miami Magma wasn't so lucky. At the end of the opening scene of the film, he was sadly burned to a crisp by a gasoline explosion. And no worries Mom, I wasn't the one who had to perform that act, my awesome stuntman stepped in for me and after being completely doused in a clear goo-like substance and engulfed in flames, he somehow miraculously walked away unscathed. Watching it all unfold from my close vantage point was simply a thrill. It was even more thrilling than last weeks performance at the Circus Balkanski! And I'm still not sure just how they did it. You know, it's quite funny when I stop to think that even though I've acted in several films now, when I'm on set, I still get thrilled and captivated at the making of it all.

"I'll take my share of love's ups and downs

Just for the moments with you

We got to be together

Together in our lives."

— Leroy Bonner, 1974

After Miami Magma wrapped, Sarah and I fired up Xena Bubolechka, our trusty silver Nissan Micra, and took a much needed weekend road trip. With our jobs and ever-so-clashing schedules, it had been quite some time since we did some traveling together. We were sorely missing that important connecting piece of our relationship. And after hearing stories of my solo castle hunting adventures from my Germany Journey last month, Sarah was in the mood to do some castle hunting herself. And me? Well, you know The Brave and Fearless Castle Hunter is always up for the job. So considering we only had a weekend to spare, we decided to stay close to home and explore more undiscovered Bulgarian castles near Kardzhali, a beautiful and scenic little town known for its water sports, fishing and a history museum with one of the most extensive exhibitions in Southern Bulgaria.

And for the record, when I say castle hunting, the word ‘castle’ is kind of an ambiguous term I use to refer to ancient structures such as fortresses, palaces, or in the case of what Sarah and I witnessed near Kardzhali, a pretty cool looking medieval building located in the ancient Thracian city of Perperikon in the Eastern Rhodopes. With its famous sanctuary and oracular shrine dedicated to the mythical god Sabazios, it was thought to have been a sacred place. And although there is much needed renovation to be done and a future plan to construct a 2 million dollar visitors centre, with its numerous ancient ruins abound, including a cathedral and cemetery, it still made for the most wonderful and worthwhile visit. But even still, one must be prepared to come equipped with a map or tour guide. A needed commodity we unfortunately lacked.

"Runnin' from the devil

trying to save my soul.

He ain't gonna catch me

'cause I'm never too slow."

— Leroy Bonner, 1974

After our castle hunting adventure in Perperikon and a quick stop at our favorite restaurant in Plovdiv, the second-largest city in Bulgaria and Europe’s oldest continuously inhabited city, the scene on our drive back home played out like a familiar Robert Clouse film. It all happened around 10 pm after Xena rounded a corner onto Evlogi Georgiev, a generally traffic heavy boulevard a block from our condo that I'd driven on so many occasions. As we waited for the traffic light to green near Vasil Levski Stadium, listening to Belle & Sebastian on the radio and sharing our favorite highlights from the Perperikon, there was an execrable feeling in the air. The traffic light seemed slower. The streets were deserted and seemingly darker than usual. As far as I could tell, the only thing in visible range breathing that night was a creepy-looking old stray dog peering out from some nearby shrubbery in the distance.

Brace yourself, because the next part of this story will most likely leave you in doubt, as it has left many of our good friends and even some Bulgarians a bit skeptical. But when the traffic light finally greened, and Xena advanced closer to the peering dog and shrubbery, about 20 more stray dogs jumped out from all directions and gave chase. And before you go thinking it — no, they weren't just playing a friendly game of chase the car — these hounds were out for blood. They had fire in their eyes.

When they got closer to Xena, my hands became numb on the steering wheel as everything seemed to go into slow motion. Sarah and I were speechless and in a surreal state as we watched these mangy mutts growl voraciously while jumping for the windows.

"Roll 'em up!" I frantically yelled as we got them up in the nick of time.

It all reminded me of The Pack, one of those previously mentioned examples of a special privilege movie I'd watched at age 6, particularly the horrifying car scene from the classic 1977 film about a pack of abandoned dogs who turn against humans. And just like the dogs from The Pack, these Bulgarian devil dogs were smart. They somehow sensed I wasn't the type to spill blood, because when I tried to accelerate to shake them off, the fearless predators ran out in front of Xena, making it impossible to drive any faster without running them down in the process. And believe me, I wanted to prove them wrong that night. But instead, I played it safe and bloodless — somehow managing to get away from the frantic scene.

Throughout my two years living in Sofia, I've made somewhat light of being chased by stray dogs on more than a few occasions. You might recall one very comical incident from Episode 10 that involved me being chased on top of a large statue by a pack of four. Or some funny stories of daily dog chases by Old Drippy Mouth from Episode 19. But of all my stray dog incidents, never have I endured an attack of this calibre. There was nothing funny about it. It recalled the severity and seriousness of the issue, that includes more than a dozen sad and devastating Bulgarian news reports ranging from packs of stray dogs killing elderly people, children and zoo animals to the horrible dismembering of a 6 year-old girl.

And while there are quite a few aspects that I truly do adore regarding my life in Bulgaria, as we got closer to home, still shaken from the attack, I couldn't help but wonder why a country who has made such a giant leap forward in passing laws to enforce restaurant owners to implement non-smoking sections into their restaurants, hasn't taken a much larger leap forward to correct a far more severe problem. Just how many more maulings, deaths and crazy incidents like ours will have to occur before the Bulgarian authorities instate the impounding system or dog shelters?

I realize I am a U.S. citizen and have no real call to pass judgement on the living conditions within Bulgaria, but just like human beings, these flesh eating mammals have an acute instinct to survive. And when abandoned, deprived of food, and left to fend for themselves — they will resort to the most primitive manner of survival and by any means necessary. So while allowing stray dogs to freely roam the streets, one must keep this in mind.

Don't stoke the fire. I'm sure no one wants the fictional horrors from The Pack to become a reality.

Be seeing you.

O