Episode 3: Solo In Soho

When you are so low in Soho

There is no hope, no how, no how

You've got nowhere to go

But you go along

— Phil Lynott, 1980

Or more like, solo in Sofia.

This week Sarah had to travel for business and you know what that means? Yep. I had to cook for myself. Go everywhere by myself. Do everything by myself. Had the place to myself. And, did I already mention that I had to cook for myself? Well, I had to cook for myself.

And although all of this sounded pretty scary to me at first, I managed along okay. I survived.

Sarah left me absolutely nothing in the fridge. So my first mission alone was to go gather some food for the house. So I went grocery shopping at the local Fantastico about a block away.

I got my usual stares the whole time I was in there. But I'm used it. The girl at the checkout counter gave me a pretty intense look as I shyly approached her register. But I could tell she liked me.

"Dobar den," I said with confidence.

She just smirked at me and started ringing me up. When it was time to pay, I pulled all of my money out of my wallet, and started rummaging through it like an old lady in a thrift shop. She got impatient and grabbed the money out of my hand, got what she needed, plopped my change on the counter and waved goodbye.

But I could still tell she liked me.

After I left the market things started looking up for me. There was a rather attractive girl with really cool fire engine-red semi-dread locked hair putting up a menu on the window of a restaurant staring at me so hard the she could barely do her job. This one had an unusual stare this time. It was more like a, 'I'm going to speak to you, stranger,' kind of stare. And what do you know, she spoke. She looked me straight in my eyes and said in English, "hello!" With the biggest most pleasant smile you could imagine.

I got a bit choked up, but I somehow manage to get out the words, "hello to you, too."

She started coming towards me, and I freaked out. But as she got closer, I started to recognize her. It was the girl from me and Sarah's favorite pizza shop! Damn, damn, damn! I thought it was just a friendly stranger with some carriage to actually speak to me this time instead of just blatantly staring. But instead, it was someone from a restaurant I'd already been to.

Nevertheless, we re-introduced our selves and I asked her again if her store had carry-out. She said "yes, come by, soon."

Okay, I should look on the bright side, right? She was very pleasant and friendly and spoke perfect English. And most importantly, I've made a friend of my own in Sophia.

How you like them apples, Sarah?

That night, Sarah's friend Joe called me to see if I would be up for dinner at Dessi's house. I said excitedly, "yes, I'd love to! But how do I get there?" Joe said he didn't mind picking me up, but that I could easily take the new metro, too. I could tell he really just wanted me to start learning how to get around on my own, so I took the bait and said, "okay, I'll take the metro." He gave me directions and I was off on my own. Solo in Sofia.

I shocked the hell of of myself and remembered how to get there and got a ticket without any ones help! What!?!

On the train, I must have gotten more stares than a Black man at a Klan rally.

But I'm used to it.

When I arrived at the station I called Joe up and he met me and gave me a tour of his very sweet condo. We got lost a few times trying to make it to Dessi's because Sophia seems to have something against street signs. When we finally arrived, Dessi and her husband greeted and welcomed me to their lovely home. Matt, Kami, and Tsetso was on the sofa chowing away something good and watching a cool wall projection of The Corrs live video footage. Then I remembered that Dessi had awesome taste in music. Dessi also remembered that I am a newly vegetarian who sometimes eats lamb, and offered me some salad and what looked like raw fish to me. I tried the fish, but it was insanely salty, so I passed it on to Matt. The salad was amazing, though. So I chomped that down in a heartbeat. After dinner, we played a game that my friend Rishi introduced me to back home. A video game called Wii Sports. And although I am an avid video game hater, with the exception of Pac-Man, of course, I surprisingly had a really wonderful time. Especially with the boxing and bowling.

After fun with Wii, they wanted to go do karaoke at a local bar. I am learning that Bulgarians love this more than we do. Anyway, I guess I should tell you that I'd already did a pretty good karaoke performance during our trip to Velingrad. Believe this one or not, but the deejay was blasting Michael Jackson's The Way You Make Me Feel and a lady must have spotted me in the crowd (which I'm sure was difficult for her do) and handed me the mic, at first I was pretty reluctant, and then I remembered that faithful night when Brittany and I attended her friend's wedding a few years ago in Pennsylvania. According to Britt, at the reception, I did a stellar imitation of the King of Pop's Motown 25 performance that had the crowd cheering for more! A little boy even asked for my autograph! Ha! So after a quick reminisce of that memorable moment in Pennsylvania, I grabbed the mic from her and I said, "why not?!?" And jumped on the stage and did my best King of Pop imitation that I could possibly do.

Well, my best must have been pretty darn good, because the crowd loved it! After I finished blowing my vocal cords out trying to hit those MJ screams and high notes on The Way You Make me Feel, the deejay went right into Billie Jean, and the crowd went wild. That's when I whispered to myself, "aw, suki suki, now--these people love me!" And tore into Billie Jean with King of Pop like confidence.

There was also a famous Bulgarian actor in the crowd, who, according to Sarah's Bulgarian friends, would be equivalent to our Jay Leno. I notice he was cheering me on like I was the real King of Pop coming back from the grave. But like I said, believe this one or not, because I left my camera in the hotel, so I have no pictures or videos to prove it.

Anyway, because of my stand out performance in Velingrad, Sarah's friends insisted that I repeat this performance in Sophia. So I did. The girls and Matt said they and the crowd loved it, but I feel it was not as good as my Velingrad debut. Mostly because of my blown-out vocal cords the night before and also because of Matt's stellar performance of Baby Got Back that totally eclipsed my rip off King of Pop imitation!

The next day, I decided to relax at home all day. Being at home alone must have helped spark some creative juices in me, because I completed two paintings for what will be included in my next traditional art series, tentatively titled The Stranger. It's a conceptual series that will include about 17 pieces, and I'm sure some scraps and sketches will come out of it, too--which usually end looking better than the polished-up-over-worked pieces. Ha! All and all I am really happy with the two that I completed. By the way, I usually hate my own work! But these two make me anxious to finish up the project!

On my last day alone in Sophia, Joe invited me, Matt, Tsetso and a few new English friends out for what was to be my very first European football (soccer) match! Gold Cup to be exact. It was a fantastic game between CSKA Sophia and Fulham that ended in a tie. But the downside of the event was at the very end when the sight of hundreds of policeman in riot gear surrounding the bleachers that housed about 200 Fulham fans, who'd came to cheer their team on, left a sour taste in my mouth. I really only have 3 words to say to that.

Get a life.

Seriously though, people take their love for sports and their teams way too seriously. Definitely one of my initial turn offs regarding sports and resulting in my 20 year self-boycott of all sporting events with the ironic except of boxing. That's because you never hear any reports of riots or fights breaking after a boxing match is over. Go figure.

The game was also my boy Matt's last day in Sophia. He's unfortunately is returning to the USA. And although Joe, Nevena and the others are awesome company in their own way, Matt and I are "members of the same team," if you get my drift. So I'll miss having my boy around.

Good luck to you, Matt.

Before I forget, again, in last week's blog I got so involved in telling you about my acting gig that my mom reminded me that I failed to mention what was going on with the substitute teaching job. Well, that's because nothing is going on with it. Yet. I've been trying my hardest to spread germs on Sarah's friend Joe to make him ill. Ha! Why? He's one of the teaches at the school. So when he and the other healthy ass teachers get sick, I guess that's when they'll call me in to sub for them.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot something else, my Prefab Sprout CD, Let's Change The World With Music, finally arrived! And although it's entirely made up of unreleased tracks from their late 80's early 90's creative peak, it's quite stunning work! I don't use this word often to describe someone, but Mr. Paddy McAloon is simply a genius. Sarah didn't think it would arrive. She thought it would get stolen in the mail. Ha! Well it's here!

You still liking them apples, Sarah?

The Beatles Remasters also arrived, but not in my paws. They are apparently at...customs? Well, at least they are somewhere close by. Can't wait to hear them.

Oh, there is one downer about the arrival of my Prefab CD. It was mysteriously opened upon arrival. Could be a drug search thing or somebody has copied my CD before they delivered it to me. If so, enjoy yourself, it's real good!

Be seeing you.

O